Blog 02-27-09

Red Wine Friday, Baby!! And I, Cory, am blogging once again on my last night as an official member of the Into the Night crew.

All times Pacific.

7:05 – The show begins. Tony is on the phone – literally getting up the the second facts and we’re drinking 7 Deadly Zins on this Red Wine Friday, a nice zinfandel from the Lodi region.


Tony rips on the Internet “news” with its misleading, nonfactual stories that everyone seems to run with without checking actual facts. Like Brian Dawkins signing with Denver; shame on you David White of the San Francisco Chronicle. There is no deal with Denver. In other news, I will be having sex with Megan Fox tonight – there you go Mr. White, run with that and make me a star!

7:16 – Joe Biden doesn’t know the website number of the organization he’s hocking.

Hey Joe, the number is four! That’s how many times you pass the ball.

7:25 – We’re back from break and we’re out of water, the state of California that is; it’s a water emergency. Tony will do his part and share his shower with any dirty ladies passing by beautiful Venice, Ca.

7:27 – Rory McIlroy is the big news in the exciting world of golf. At 19, he could be the youngest person to win a major American golf tournament. I would actually rather watch golf than drive seven hours tomorrow back to the San Francisco Bay Area.

7:31 – Jason Cole comes Into the Night to talk a little NFL free agency. Check out the interview in the podcast section. And be sure to note that a Tony Bruno rim-shot (that’s the the drum thing, not what your filthy mind jumped to, pervert) is worth more important than an Academy Award.

7:45 – We’re eating pizza now. Red wine and pizza, not a bad combo. Thanks for picking up the tab, Tony.

7:49 – Eddie has called in, fresh from the ER taking care of his daughters ear infection, he’s talking facts and his daughter is going to be okay. Eddie was mad about the Dawkins/Denver “news” and Tony has set him straight, there is no NEWS. It is not a done deal! Me having sex with Megan Fox is more of a done deal then the Dawkins going to Denver deal. By the way, Megan, if you’re reading this, I’m just joking around, baby, you know that. You know how it’s going to go; I blog untrue rumors about you, you have me arrested, you bail me out because you didn’t think it would go that far, and then we make sweet, sweet love after a witty exchange about how you’d never have sex with me. (sigh) Good times.

8:05 – Tony breaks down a trillion dollars. Twelve zeros Jason reports. Let’s check it out. 1,000,000,000,000. Yes, twelves zeros.

8:08 – Brian Seltzer, Eagles beat reporter, joins the program to talk Dawkins/Denver “news.” Tony can’t remember the last time there was misinformation of this magnitude. I once laid out some misinformation of my own; I told some chicks I was a millionaire. That’s a hard fact to fake when you’re living with your parents and driving your girlfriend’s ’98 VW Jetta. What!? Of course, I pulled it off. Cha-ching! Just kidding, baby, and thanks for loaning me your car.

8:25 – My blogging is mentioned on the show – I’m flattered, however, it may be because Tim was still getting the guest on the phone. Charley Casserly joins the program. It’s an NFL, Red Wine, Pizza, Megan Fox, VW Jetta Friday! We’re talking free agency, lots of guys are getting lots of dollars. I had two choices when I left college, radio or millionaire professional athlete. I may have chosen poorly. Only time will tell. There is one avenue I could consider to make some money as an athlete, the underground world of Curling. It’s a fast and dangerous lifestyle, but when you get on the ice, with a broom in your hand and big money wager being held by a beautiful Curling groupie on the sidelines, you can’t beat that rush. My signature is that I where a One Star Converse shoe on my sliding foot – they call me Kicks.

8:42 – The calls are flooding in to talk about the various free agency action that took place today.

8:45 – We’re banging calls this segment. And more importantly, we have opened another bottle of wine: an Avalon Cab.


9:05 – We start the last hour of the week. It seems the brave front I’ve put on about leaving the show is working. I’ll be listening to Bryan Adams, and weeping openly on ride home. Actually, don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay. I haven’t seen my lady in a few weeks, so I only have one thing on my mind: Megan Fox.

9:07 – Dana calls in. Tony calls her Dina. It wasn’t intentional, just a typo on the call screening computer.

9:09 – Vince calls in to talk some hockey and play some tape. Tony may have to set up a old-almost-inaudible-tape throw-down between Vince and Art, the official archivist of the Tony Bruno Show.

9:15 – Update! One armed child TV show host on the BBC. Some parents say she scares children, other parents say it’s good for children. I say, she’s kind of hot, and I’m kind of curious.

9:25 – Update! GND Kendra will be given away at her wedding by her brother. Update! Chris Angel makes GND Holly disappear.

9:29 – Update! Nurses fired for posting pictures of an X-Ray of a dude with something in his rectum. RECTUM!

9:32 – Jose has called in to wish me farewell (and to talk a little sports with Tony). I’ll be alright Jose, don’t you worry none. I am a sexy man with lots of character, and if it comes to it, I can find a nice rich lady to take care of me; a Sugar Mama. In return I will do whatever she wants. Well, not whatever, I have limits. I will not watch Sex In The City. But everything else in on the table. Everything!

9:45 – Carlos has called in. Buenos noches! Talkin’ Manny Ramirez and Giants baseball.

9:49 – Al calls in to tell Tony he loves him. And to rip on The Eagles’ Brian Dawkins. Tony recalls watching people fly kites during his trip to the Super Bowl instead of doing what Tony does best. Everyone now! Two chicks at the same time! Hmm… I wonder if my Megan Fox is into chicks. I bet she is, she has a lot of tattoos. I hear chicks with tattoos are into stuff like that, especially when they’re trying to act like they’re all hardcore. Oh wait. She just texted me, she isn’t acting. She IS hardcore, and I have no chance. Even if I brought another hot chick with tattoos. Oh well. We’ll always have this blog, baby.

See you later everybody. Follow me on Twitter if you want. @CoryUpdate.


2 Responses to “Blog 02-27-09”

  1. tony’s favrite one arm bandit

  2. Stan Otley Says:

    There is a one-armed story and NO one mentioned Def Leppard. Historic!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: