Blog 02-26-08 Cory Style
I’m blogging all night long, and don’t worry, it’s only three hours; if it lasted more than four I’d have to consult my physician.
All times Pacific.
7:05 – Show starts.
7:05:50 – Tony finally turns on his mic as he has sunk deeper into the online world and is now a twitterer, but don’t worry, he is too much a man to be twitterpated. Follow Tony: @TonyBrunoShow and my name in Twitteronia as Shaq calls it is: @CoryUpdate. We’ll get Tim and Jason twittering too.
7:13 – Tony wants the ball to drop at midnight for Free Agency (cue Seacrest: The Ball Looks Amazing!)
7:14 – A-rod, tell your cousin to stay home. Jose has called up. He’s on hold warming up for his now famous greeting – “What up, Bruno, what up, Tim Cakes.”
7:18 – Tony’s promoting the Updates! we’ll be doing later, and I am searching my cerebral music library to think up songs to accompany them.
7:25 – Talking golf with NBC’s Jimmy Roberts, Tiger lost!, what does that do to the ratings. Well, if you’re a golf fan, you still like to watch golf – Tiger or no Tiger. I watched ten minutes of golf today, it was riveting.
7:37 – Talkin’ Twitter (see above to follow Tony).
7:45 – Back from break; I have found three songs so far for the updates. I need more, but don’t worry about me, with the assistance of Jason Matheny I am confident we will succeed.
7:46 – Jose is on, forgets Jason yet again. Talking basketball. Mike was after Jose, but I was knee deep in song searching, so I think they were talking golf and Warner, but to be honest they could have been plotting to take over my reign of blog power and I would not know it. If that was what they were talking, listen here Mr. Tony Bruno and Mike from Oakland, I am only going to say this once – I will only be blogging tonight, so just leave me alone, please, I don’t like conflict. And if you still want to overthrow me – don’t worry about it, you can have it. I’m going back to San Francisco anyway.
7:58 – Tony was wrong about leap year, it’s not this year, it wass last year. He rips us (Tim, Jason and I) for not correcting him. He’s right about Tim and Jason, I just wasn’t paying attention; I know leap year was last year. I was looking for update music.
8:05 – Tony has doubled his Twitter followers – to six. Tony will not twitter from his phone, not even to tell his listeners when he’s getting intimate with the ladies. Why not? I would brag before, during and after if I was turning as many double plays as Mr. Bruno. I don’t have the ‘Two Chicks’ sound bite on hand if you didn’t get the ‘double play’ reference. NBA update: King James was shut down by Artest. James cried into a handful of hundred dollar bills and then lit them on fire, because he’s really, really rich.
8:14 – Update – man dies from too much Viagra (a whole bottle!) after two chicks bet him he couldn’t last for twelve hours. But more importantly, my song choice for this update: Everlasting Love. I know, genius. And you’re welcome for the added entertainment value. I once played Madden for twelve straight hours, but I only took one Viagra. Why? Why not! Actually, I was lonely and needed a friend. I hate playing Madden by myself.
8:25 – Talkin’ free agency with Bucky Brooks. Top 25 Free Agents of 2009. This is where I could follow what they’re saying and give you the play-by-play. But as I was getting that link (that’s what it means when a word or phrase is underlined when your cursor passes over it, and your cursor turns into a little hand) I happened upon this:
Hmm… I’m not going to say anything specific about this, as I feel this picture will affect everyone differently. I suggest letting it sink in for a while before committing fully to a reaction.
8:37 – Baseball update!!!! Manny Ramirez and company (cough Scott Boras cough) have turned down the Dodgers most recent offer. What!? Is there a better offer? Where is this offer? Does it have anything to do with Vince Offer? Will Batman make it in time to save Robin? Stay tuned to find out.
8:46 – Breaking news – Tom Brady and Gisele however-you-spell-her-last-name have tied the knot in Santa Monica, Ca. Us magazine has the story. And it should be noted that Gisele “donned a form-fitting ivory lace strapless gown with a trumpet skirt, scalloped edges, long train and a floor-length veil with attached handmade satin roses and attached satin headband, all by Dolce & Gabbana. Her three dogs also wore matching Dolce & Gabbana floral lace collars.” I’m glad the dogs were wearing matching collars, because take it from me, you want your bitches’ collars to match.
9:05 – Tony starts the segment with “Let the meat market begin!” Referring to free agency beginning. Now he is congratulating all of us for being awesome. That referring to how quickly we got the Manny update and the Tom Brady updates (see above). I haven’t really been paying as close attention as I would like; I am trying to go through the blog for typos and such. I got a few, but I know there are more things I would like to correct and change. Actually forget that! This is some raw blogging going on here, playing Street Rules on this blog, and you don’t correct grammar on the schoolyard. Chumps. Sorry, that kind of got away from me. You’re probably not chumps. You’re probably very nice people and here I am hurting your feelings, calling you chumps. I sincerely apologize.
9:25 – Talking NFL television – here in LA, we get a good pick of games because there is not a local team. And there is not a local team because there is no where for them to play. But wait! Tim has an update: LA will have a stadium, someone is paying for it, eight teams have been targeted. Sorry I don’t have more on it, I was on the phone. Here’s the story if you care. All Tim cares about is that the team that comes here has a good amount of UCLA players.
9:34 – Update! Rome has banned selling ice-cream after 1 am. Why are people eating ice-cream after 1 am. I’ve never been there, but I here they have wine and hot Italian women. That’s all I need after 1 am (cue: You following me, camera guy.) However, the song I chose for this story is Hungry Like A Wolf.
9:45 – Talking terrible Housewives television, and Tony doesn’t like the fake fighting because they have nothing else to do.
9:47 – Tim from Florida with a Boston accent gives props on the updates. I’ve never been to Boston, but I’ve seen Good Will Hunting about 20 times so I totally know where this guy is coming from. And remember, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
9:50 – Breaking news from the world of the free agents: Redskins have signed DeAngelo Hall for six years, $54 million dollars. I wish I had $54 million dollars. That’s it, I have nothing else to say. I just wish I had $54 million dollars. What, you don’t.
9:58 – And that’s it everybody, check back tomorrow night for Red Wine Fridays!
Oh yeah, sorry to leave you hanging about whether or not Batman made it in time to save Robin. He did not.