Archive for February, 2009

Blog 02-27-09

Posted in Updates/Discussion on February 27, 2009 by jasonmatheny

Red Wine Friday, Baby!! And I, Cory, am blogging once again on my last night as an official member of the Into the Night crew.

All times Pacific.

7:05 – The show begins. Tony is on the phone – literally getting up the the second facts and we’re drinking 7 Deadly Zins on this Red Wine Friday, a nice zinfandel from the Lodi region.

bt7dzn05_m

Tony rips on the Internet “news” with its misleading, nonfactual stories that everyone seems to run with without checking actual facts. Like Brian Dawkins signing with Denver; shame on you David White of the San Francisco Chronicle. There is no deal with Denver. In other news, I will be having sex with Megan Fox tonight – there you go Mr. White, run with that and make me a star!

7:16 – Joe Biden doesn’t know the website number of the organization he’s hocking.

Hey Joe, the number is four! That’s how many times you pass the ball.

7:25 – We’re back from break and we’re out of water, the state of California that is; it’s a water emergency. Tony will do his part and share his shower with any dirty ladies passing by beautiful Venice, Ca.

7:27 – Rory McIlroy is the big news in the exciting world of golf. At 19, he could be the youngest person to win a major American golf tournament. I would actually rather watch golf than drive seven hours tomorrow back to the San Francisco Bay Area.

7:31 – Jason Cole comes Into the Night to talk a little NFL free agency. Check out the interview in the tonybrunoshow.com podcast section. And be sure to note that a Tony Bruno rim-shot (that’s the the drum thing, not what your filthy mind jumped to, pervert) is worth more important than an Academy Award.

7:45 – We’re eating pizza now. Red wine and pizza, not a bad combo. Thanks for picking up the tab, Tony.

7:49 – Eddie has called in, fresh from the ER taking care of his daughters ear infection, he’s talking facts and his daughter is going to be okay. Eddie was mad about the Dawkins/Denver “news” and Tony has set him straight, there is no NEWS. It is not a done deal! Me having sex with Megan Fox is more of a done deal then the Dawkins going to Denver deal. By the way, Megan, if you’re reading this, I’m just joking around, baby, you know that. You know how it’s going to go; I blog untrue rumors about you, you have me arrested, you bail me out because you didn’t think it would go that far, and then we make sweet, sweet love after a witty exchange about how you’d never have sex with me. (sigh) Good times.

8:05 – Tony breaks down a trillion dollars. Twelve zeros Jason reports. Let’s check it out. 1,000,000,000,000. Yes, twelves zeros.

8:08 – Brian Seltzer, Eagles beat reporter, joins the program to talk Dawkins/Denver “news.” Tony can’t remember the last time there was misinformation of this magnitude. I once laid out some misinformation of my own; I told some chicks I was a millionaire. That’s a hard fact to fake when you’re living with your parents and driving your girlfriend’s ’98 VW Jetta. What!? Of course, I pulled it off. Cha-ching! Just kidding, baby, and thanks for loaning me your car.

8:25 – My blogging is mentioned on the show – I’m flattered, however, it may be because Tim was still getting the guest on the phone. Charley Casserly joins the program. It’s an NFL, Red Wine, Pizza, Megan Fox, VW Jetta Friday! We’re talking free agency, lots of guys are getting lots of dollars. I had two choices when I left college, radio or millionaire professional athlete. I may have chosen poorly. Only time will tell. There is one avenue I could consider to make some money as an athlete, the underground world of Curling. It’s a fast and dangerous lifestyle, but when you get on the ice, with a broom in your hand and big money wager being held by a beautiful Curling groupie on the sidelines, you can’t beat that rush. My signature is that I where a One Star Converse shoe on my sliding foot – they call me Kicks.

8:42 – The calls are flooding in to talk about the various free agency action that took place today.

8:45 – We’re banging calls this segment. And more importantly, we have opened another bottle of wine: an Avalon Cab.

w3discountmall_2038_9879756

9:05 – We start the last hour of the week. It seems the brave front I’ve put on about leaving the show is working. I’ll be listening to Bryan Adams, and weeping openly on ride home. Actually, don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay. I haven’t seen my lady in a few weeks, so I only have one thing on my mind: Megan Fox.

9:07 – Dana calls in. Tony calls her Dina. It wasn’t intentional, just a typo on the call screening computer.

9:09 – Vince calls in to talk some hockey and play some tape. Tony may have to set up a old-almost-inaudible-tape throw-down between Vince and Art, the official archivist of the Tony Bruno Show.

9:15 – Update! One armed child TV show host on the BBC. Some parents say she scares children, other parents say it’s good for children. I say, she’s kind of hot, and I’m kind of curious.

9:25 – Update! GND Kendra will be given away at her wedding by her brother. Update! Chris Angel makes GND Holly disappear.

9:29 – Update! Nurses fired for posting pictures of an X-Ray of a dude with something in his rectum. RECTUM!

9:32 – Jose has called in to wish me farewell (and to talk a little sports with Tony). I’ll be alright Jose, don’t you worry none. I am a sexy man with lots of character, and if it comes to it, I can find a nice rich lady to take care of me; a Sugar Mama. In return I will do whatever she wants. Well, not whatever, I have limits. I will not watch Sex In The City. But everything else in on the table. Everything!

9:45 – Carlos has called in. Buenos noches! Talkin’ Manny Ramirez and Giants baseball.

9:49 – Al calls in to tell Tony he loves him. And to rip on The Eagles’ Brian Dawkins. Tony recalls watching people fly kites during his trip to the Super Bowl instead of doing what Tony does best. Everyone now! Two chicks at the same time! Hmm… I wonder if my Megan Fox is into chicks. I bet she is, she has a lot of tattoos. I hear chicks with tattoos are into stuff like that, especially when they’re trying to act like they’re all hardcore. Oh wait. She just texted me, she isn’t acting. She IS hardcore, and I have no chance. Even if I brought another hot chick with tattoos. Oh well. We’ll always have this blog, baby.

See you later everybody. Follow me on Twitter if you want. @CoryUpdate.

Blog 02-26-08 Cory Style

Posted in Updates/Discussion on February 26, 2009 by jasonmatheny

I’m blogging all night long, and don’t worry, it’s only three hours; if it lasted more than four I’d have to consult my physician.

All times Pacific.

7:05 – Show starts.

7:05:50 – Tony finally turns on his mic as he has sunk deeper into the online world and is now a twitterer, but don’t worry, he is too much a man to be twitterpated. Follow Tony: @TonyBrunoShow and my name in Twitteronia as Shaq calls it is: @CoryUpdate. We’ll get Tim and Jason twittering too.

7:13 – Tony wants the ball to drop at midnight for Free Agency (cue Seacrest: The Ball Looks Amazing!)

7:14 – A-rod, tell your cousin to stay home. Jose has called up. He’s on hold warming up for his now famous greeting – “What up, Bruno, what up, Tim Cakes.”

7:18 – Tony’s promoting the Updates! we’ll be doing later, and I am searching my cerebral music library to think up songs to accompany them.

7:25 – Talking golf with NBC’s Jimmy Roberts, Tiger lost!, what does that do to the ratings. Well, if you’re a golf fan, you still like to watch golf – Tiger or no Tiger. I watched ten minutes of golf today, it was riveting.

7:37 – Talkin’ Twitter (see above to follow Tony).

7:45 – Back from break; I have found three songs so far for the updates. I need more, but don’t worry about me, with the assistance of Jason Matheny I am confident we will succeed.

7:46 – Jose is on, forgets Jason yet again. Talking basketball. Mike was after Jose, but I was knee deep in song searching, so I think they were talking golf and Warner, but to be honest they could have been plotting to take over my reign of blog power and I would not know it. If that was what they were talking, listen here Mr. Tony Bruno and Mike from Oakland, I am only going to say this once – I will only be blogging tonight, so just leave me alone, please, I don’t like conflict. And if you still want to overthrow me – don’t worry about it, you can have it. I’m going back to San Francisco anyway.

7:58 – Tony was wrong about leap year, it’s not this year, it wass last year. He rips us (Tim, Jason and I) for not correcting him. He’s right about Tim and Jason, I just wasn’t paying attention; I know leap year was last year. I was looking for update music.

8:05 – Tony has doubled his Twitter followers – to six. Tony will not twitter from his phone, not even to tell his listeners when he’s getting intimate with the ladies. Why not? I would brag before, during and after if I was turning as many double plays as Mr. Bruno. I don’t have the ‘Two Chicks’ sound bite on hand if you didn’t get the ‘double play’ reference.  NBA update: King James was shut down by Artest. James cried into a handful of hundred dollar bills and then lit them on fire, because he’s really, really rich.

8:14 – Update – man dies from too much Viagra (a whole bottle!) after two chicks bet him he couldn’t last for twelve hours. But more importantly, my song choice for this update: Everlasting Love. I know, genius. And you’re welcome for the added entertainment value. I once played Madden for twelve straight hours, but I only took one Viagra. Why? Why not! Actually, I was lonely and needed a friend. I hate playing Madden by myself.

8:25 – Talkin’ free agency with Bucky Brooks. Top 25 Free Agents of 2009. This is where I could follow what they’re saying and give you the play-by-play. But as I was getting that link (that’s what it means when a word or phrase is underlined when your cursor passes over it, and your cursor turns into a little hand) I happened upon this:

dayton-cheerleader1

Hmm… I’m not going to say anything specific about this, as I feel this picture will affect everyone differently. I suggest letting it sink in for a while before committing fully to a reaction.

8:37 – Baseball update!!!! Manny Ramirez and company (cough Scott Boras cough) have turned down the Dodgers most recent offer. What!? Is there a better offer? Where is this offer? Does it have anything to do with Vince Offer? Will Batman make it in time to save Robin? Stay tuned to find out.

8:46 – Breaking news – Tom Brady and Gisele however-you-spell-her-last-name have tied the knot in Santa Monica, Ca. Us magazine has the story. And it should be noted that Gisele “donned a form-fitting ivory lace strapless gown with a trumpet skirt, scalloped edges, long train and a floor-length veil with attached handmade satin roses and attached satin headband, all by Dolce & Gabbana. Her three dogs also wore matching Dolce & Gabbana floral lace collars.” I’m glad the dogs were wearing matching collars, because take it from me, you want your bitches’ collars to match.

 9:05 – Tony starts the segment with “Let the meat market begin!” Referring to free agency beginning. Now he is congratulating all of us for being awesome. That referring to how quickly we got the Manny update and the Tom Brady updates (see above). I haven’t really been paying as close attention as I would like; I am trying to go through the blog for typos and such. I got a few, but I know there are more things I would like to correct and change. Actually forget that! This is some raw blogging going on here, playing Street Rules on this blog, and you don’t correct grammar on the schoolyard. Chumps. Sorry, that kind of got away from me. You’re probably not chumps. You’re probably very nice people and here I am hurting your feelings, calling you chumps. I sincerely apologize.

9:25 – Talking NFL television – here in LA, we get a good pick of games because there is not a local team. And there is not a local team because there is no where for them to play. But wait! Tim has an update: LA will have a stadium, someone is paying for it, eight teams have been targeted. Sorry I don’t have more on it, I was on the phone. Here’s the story if you care. All Tim cares about is that the team that comes here has a good amount of UCLA players.

9:34 – Update! Rome has banned selling ice-cream after 1 am. Why are people eating ice-cream after 1 am. I’ve never been there, but I here they have wine and hot Italian women. That’s all I need after 1 am (cue: You following me, camera guy.) However, the song I chose for this story is Hungry Like A Wolf.

9:45 – Talking terrible Housewives television, and Tony doesn’t like the fake fighting because they have nothing else to do.

9:47 – Tim from Florida with a Boston accent gives props on the updates. I’ve never been to Boston, but I’ve seen Good Will Hunting about 20 times so I totally know where this guy is coming from. And remember, it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

9:50 – Breaking news from the world of the free agents: Redskins have signed DeAngelo Hall for six years, $54 million dollars. I wish I had $54 million dollars. That’s it, I have nothing else to say. I just wish I had $54 million dollars. What, you don’t.

9:58 – And that’s it everybody, check back tomorrow night for Red Wine Fridays!

Oh yeah, sorry to leave you hanging about whether or not Batman made it in time to save Robin. He did not.

Dylan Hernandez Interview

Posted in Updates/Discussion on February 25, 2009 by jasonmatheny

Dylan Hernandez, LA Dodgers beat writer joined us to talk about the breaking news regarding Manny Ramirez. He said when he spoke to Manny earlier in the offseason, Manny his typical laid-back self and wasn’t very worried about when he’d end up.

 

What changes the story, is Ned Coletti left camp to meet with Scott Boras, where the Dodgers have now offered a one-year deal at 25M with a player option for a second year at 20M.

 

Dylan says the deal is a little better for Manny because it gives him the chance to jump back into the market next year if he wants.

 

Tony brought up the situation with Rafael Furcal and the Braves, and clearly the deal isn’t signed until it’s signed. Dylan said it’s unlikely the Giants would jump in at the price the Dodgers are offering, and he doesn’t think anyone will come close to this offer.

David Buehler Interview

Posted in Interviews on February 25, 2009 by jasonmatheny

David Buehler (pronounced BEE-ler, not bueller) joined the show. What’s this? A kicker on the show? This is not your ordinary kicker. He lifted 225 pounds 25 times! Somebody drug test this guy!

 

Tony asked if he gave any crap to USC guys who couldn’t get that many reps, and David said he probably would have if anybody was actually around. You see, when the kickers and punters came in to lift, about 80 percent of the people in the stands took off.

 

David said he didn’t get much of a chance to show off his leg at USC, because USC doesn’t exactly kick a lot of field goals. David said the fans even chant ‘big balls pete’ (his words, not ours) on fourth downs to encourage the coach to go for it. And most of the time he did.

 

Tony mentioned he beat USC linebackers in the 40, and outlifted the offensive lineman – shouldn’t he be playing running back or linebacker? David said he wasn’t going to be running the wildcat anytime soon.

Cory Bloggin’ Live

Posted in Updates/Discussion on February 25, 2009 by jasonmatheny

8:05 – Jason is handling the wheels of steel, so for now I will be your “humble narrator.” That from A Clockwork Orange of course.

 Talking Manny Ramirez – and Tim continues to be a Dodgers appologist, and I would be too, but since I’m a serious blogger now I must be impartial. And as a serious blogger I must report that Tony is wearing Dodger blue and white. I think it was a subconscious decision.

8:15 – Todd from San Mateo calls in as an angry Giants fan – I think it’s funny he called Tim Tony’s “partner.” They are adorable together.

8:17 – Don from San Jose is a Giants fan but is NOT outraged.

8:21 – Mike called from South San Francisco, but we have Alvin Gentry on this segment – he is a Giants fan who loves the Sharks too and he will call us back.

8:25 – Talking to Coach Alvin Gentry of your Phoenix Suns, and like Casey Kasem talking Dead Dog Dedication, it’s an up-tempo game he’s running and running it well so far. Speaking of the Suns, @THE_REAL_SHAQ I hate la traffic, honk honk move out da way aaaaaagh. If that doesn’t make any sense to you, that’s Twitter-speak and of course Shaq is now the King of Twitteronia. http://twitpic.com/1ok92

8:35 – Tony’s talking about his ‘modest’ home in Venice – trust me when I tell you, it’s real nice – complete with a Moroccan bench.

8:37 – Breaking news, Gary Grant is attending the LA Clippers game. Lakers get Jack Nicholson and Densel Washington, Clippers get Gary Grant: (well I tried to find a picture of Gary Grant in Google images, but nothing but all that came up were Cary Grant pictures. Sorry Gary, maybe someone will youtube your shining moment on Fox Sports Net and you cna make it to this thing we call the internet.

8:45 – Tony makes a Nob Hill reference – that sounds like a funny term, but it is actually an actual place in San Francisco.

8:46 – Update – Tim talks about the beauty of Tony’s Moroccan bench, and I can’t help but wonder: hmm, if that bench could talk (cue: Two chicks at the same time, man). Party at the Moroccan bench; Tony will have special people in his home.

8:51 – Update – Stuff has a broken leg, that’s the Orlando Magic mascot Stuff. As we play a little New Kids on the Block accompaniment, Stuff does not have The Right Stuff. New Kids on the Block discussion ensues.

8:58 – Well, it’s been a blast, but I now hand the blog reigns back to the Jason Matheny, thank you for your audience.

Rich Lerner Interview

Posted in Interviews on February 25, 2009 by jasonmatheny

Rich Lerner of Golf Channel joined us, and Rich immediately pointed out the world is now spinning on its axis correctly. When Tiger went under the knife, the stock market was doing great, and now look what’s happened!

 

In all seriousness, it’s big that Tiger is back for golf. He looked great today, and he looks healthy. Fixing this injury could actually make Tiger better, as hard as that is to believe.

 

Rich said this is a big week for golf and it’s not often that golf takes the center stage on a Wednesday.

 

Tony asked about Anthony Kim coming out and dominating after flying back from Australia. Rich said this is a big week for him, and that he has the same deep voice as Scottie Pippen. Good knowledge!

Wednesday February 25th, 2009

Posted in Today's Show on February 25, 2009 by jasonmatheny

Fresh off a great lunch, the whole crew reunited at Tony’s place before taking off toward the beautiful Westwood One studios. We learned that Tim has never had calamari before today. Huh? How does that happen? He’ll eat Jack in the Box, but not delicious calamari?

 

Tony is demanding apologies from everyone tonight, after they all claimed the two-year, $45M offer to Manny Ramirez was an insult. And guess what? They’re now offering Manny a two-year, $45M offer.

 

Tonight’s guests:

 

Rich Lerner of Golf Network will join Tony to talk about some guy named Tiger. I hear he’s back to golf, or something like that?

 

Alvin Gentry, head coach of the Phoenix Suns will discuss Phoenix’s hot streak since he was named coach after the All-Star break.

 

David Buehler, perhaps the strongest kicker of all time, will also join us. David bench-pressed 225 pounds 25 times. That’s more than first-round offensive line prospects Michael Oher and Eugene Monroe! No kicker jokes around this guy.